Reincarnation
by taoueriT
Summary: Treat yourself to some mind-bendingly stupid Gintama DGM crossover drabbles, based on the premise that DGM characters are incarnations of Gintama characters, and vice-versa.


Reincarnation

* * *

Drabble premise: DGM cast meets the Gintama cast, and everyone decides that there are waaay too many similarities to ignore.

Yep, that's right. DGM characters are reincarnations of Gintama characters... or maybe Gintama characters are reincarnations of DGM characters. In any case, it all makes for some mind-bendingly stupid (awesome) fanfic ideas.

* * *

Hijikata looked at Kanda derisively. "There's no way I'm the incarnation of this snotty little brat," he told Kondo, lazily lighting up a cigarette.

Kanda stiffened, partially unsheathing his sword, Mugen. "What did you say?" _And why the hell is that lighter in the form of a mayonnaise bottle?!_

"You heard what I said," Hijikata growled, unsheathing his own. "Bet the brat doesn't even watch Sailor Moon," he muttered under his breath.

Kanda paused and looked slightly confused, but quickly tightened his grip on his sword and yelled out a demanding, "You want a fight, bastard?"

"You think you can take me?"

"I'll crush you here and now!"

"Bring it on, smartass!"

Allen, Lenalee and Lavi hid their heads in their hands and shuffled away.

--

"So who's my incarnation?" asked Kondo eagerly, a look of complete and utter joy on his gorilla-like features.

The strange vision of a psychopathic scientist with a maniacal laugh and a sister complex branded itself into their minds.

Allen looked at Lavi. Lavi looked at Lenalee. Lenalee nodded imperceptibly.

In one silent agreement, they all turned around and walked away from Kondo-san as quickly as they could.

--

"Yamazaki, looks like you're a reincarnation of that B-rated character who no one cared about enough to give good dialogue to," Okita said. Yamazaki's face fell.

"I'll show them. I'll be the greatest badminton player ever to grace the earth!" he muttered to himself, and went off to practice his backhand. But no one heard or cared because Yamazaki didn't have good enough dialogue.

--

"So I'm the reincarnation of Lavi?" Okita mused. "Well I guess that makes sense. We do have the same voice actor, after all. Except that he probably likes recording my voice a lot better than he likes recording Lavi's."

"Hey!" Lavi protested. "That's not true! Take that back!" The two started arguing loudly, and they would have continued had Kenichi Suzumura not suddenly clutched at his throat in pain. "Stop fighting, you two!" he wheezed. "You're not allowed to hijack my vocal chords for your own stupid arguments." He stalked out of the recording studio in search of a glass of water.

Okita and Lavi glared at each other. And then they both promptly rolled over and fell asleep because in the end, they _so_ didn't care, and really, what can you do when you're refused a voice?

--

"Sorry, kid," said Gintoki, scratching his head lazily. "There's no way I'm your incarnation, even if we're both main characters and have light colored hair."

"Gin-chaaan," whined Kagura, tugging at Gintoki's sleeve. "I'm a main character too, you know!"

"Yeah, yeah," Gintoki said. "Go buy me some strawberry milk."

Kagura pouted. "You aren't even listening to me! Gin-chan, you baka!" She immediately started pummeling his face into the ground.

"Strawberry milk?" asked Allen, perking up. "Where?"

--

Lenalee sighed. "I guess I never had the chance to find out who my reincarnation was," she said to herself dejectedly.

"Che," Kanda muttered sourly, still pissed off with the idea of his other self being some sort of hot-tempered, mayonnaise-obsessed, manga-loving vice commander to an idiot. "At least we found the Innocence."

Lavi nodded silently in agreement, since Suzumura was still refusing to lend him a voice.

"Don't worry about it, Lenalee," said Allen, offering the dark-haired girl a strawberry parfait in an attempt to cheer her up. "Besides, Lenalee, you're one of a kind."

"Thanks, Allen," Lenalee smiled. "I just wish- well, you know. It's awesome that you all found someone so similar to you that I'm sort of jealous. I mean, Okita-kun and Hijikata-kun were so cool, and Gin-san was, well, he was-"

"Gin-san was what?" A brown-haired girl in a pink kimono asked sweetly. "Refusing to pay the rent? Helping out terrorists? Ogling high-school aged girls in sailor uniforms and miniskirts? Bailing out on me when I told him I needed help at the host club?" The girl turned to her companion, smiling gently. "Let's go, Kyuu-chan. I think Gin-san needs some convincing."

"Of course, Otae-chan," her dark-haired companion replied.

"Ah! Since you're going there, can you tell Gin-san thanks for helping us find the stolen Innocence?" Lenalee called up to the pair as they ascended the stairs to the Yorozuya's business.

Otae's smile widened dangerously. "Steal the innocence of a young girl's heart, did he?" she said in a voice so saccharine that it was terrifying. "We'll be sure to thank him for that, right Kyuu-chan?"

Kyuubei nodded, fingering the hilt of her sword. "Indeed," she murmured. "I thought he was a more honorable man than that."

Lenalee was about to call out that no, it really wasn't what it sounded like, but Otae and Kyuubei had already slammed shut the doors to the Yorozuya's house, and a lot of yelling and painful-sounding crashes immediately ensued.

The exorcists were silent.

"Well," Allen said finally. "I really hope that those two weren't your incarnations."

Lenalee smiled at him sweetly. "Now, why ever would you say that, Allen-kun?"

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!


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